Reformation and Copy/Paste.

Well hello there, nice to see you all again. Yes, my posts have been absent for a while once again and no, it's not because I met a nice guy. It's because I was focusing and working on myself. Sometimes you have to stop and really take a look at yourself and where you are emotionally, physically, mentally,and if you aren't happy with yourself you have to redirect and do something to change it (that's real life, yo). So I have been spending the last month or so 'reformatting' myself back into someone I love, because face it, if you don't love yourself it's hard for someone else to (man, the wisdom is just pouring out of me today).

I did however meet two guys during the spring AND have a lovely message sent to me to share with you all. So today's post is a mixed bag if you will....hehehe I said mixed bag (well, there goes my points for wisdom).

There wasn't really anything wrong with one of the guys except that I didn't really click with him. Err, well I guess there was the fact that he didn't drink, didn't drive and didn't own a cell phone....but I've dated guys who don't drink or that didn't have a car before. I did wonder about the cell phone though. I don't know how that makes me sound but if you think about it...there are hardly ANY payphones around anymore. What if something happened while he was taking transit to see you or the chain broke on his bike. How would he let you know he would be late? I don't know about you but having to wait is a pain in my ass. I'm a very BIG FAN of the quick 'fyi, running late, just leaving now text'. Anyways, I'm just rambling and from what I remember he was on time. Just no sparks :/.

Let me now introduce you to:

SWITZERLAND

No, he was not Swiss. Just wait, you'll see...

So it was early spring and I received a message from Swiss that we should meet up for a coffee. I sent a message back and tried to find out more about him (I like to get a feel for someone before I commit to anything). He didn't really give me much and every time I logged in he would find me in chat and mention we should get together. One day I finally gave in and decided to meet up with him. I figured he wasn't much of an online chatter and that I had met enough people online to be comfortable in just meeting up.

I suggested meeting up halfway in Burnaby as I am in Delta and he is in Vancouver. He agreed but then gave me the name of a restaurant in Vancouver. Since I didn't know much about him I repeated my suggestion for coffee (at a place in Burnaby) and he agreed. Just as I sat down in my car to go he texted me and asked again if we could meet at this restaurant so that he could watch the Canuck game. Already perturbed (which I should have seen as a sign just to cancel) I said fine, I mean atleast I would get to watch the game as well. When I get to the restaurant (that was a complete dive) I discover that he didn't wait outside for me and already sat down so I ended up looking like an idiot telling the hostess 'uhhhh, I'm umm meeting this guy'. In which she just pointed down one aisle that had two booths occupied by single guys on their own that I reluctantly walked down until one turned around and smiled at me.

The initial greeting went well...even though his was "Well, you are cute, I'll give you that". In which I said "Uhh,Yeah, I'm freakin' cute!" "Ah, Thanks". We exchanged the usual how are you doing, what is it you do for a living blah, blah, blah. But then there were some awkward silences which I would try to fill with questions to make the conversation flow again that only resulted in it crash and burning. Repeatedly. Then both of us would just stare off an watch the hockey game where he would sound off about how great a goaltender Corey Schneider was.

Me: So what kind of movies do you like?

Switzerland: Lots of them. Look at that save! See how he lunges to protect the crease? That's how it's done.

Me: Ahh...well, what about music? What type do you listen to?

Switzerland: All of them.

.............AWKWARD........SILENCE..............

Switzerland: AH! See! Look at Schneider, that's how you cover a net.

Me: Yeah, I'm a fan of Schneider too. So, you like any other sports besides hockey?

Switzerland: No, I don't really like hockey too much either but I just started watching it with some friends.

Me: Ahh... So...you said you went out boating yesterday. You have your own boat?

Switzerland: Yeah, it's okay. It's a pain in the ass though. It's so much work to get it all ready just to go out on the water for an hour or two.

..........AWKWARD......SO..........AWKWARD...............

Switzerland: Look at Schneider and how calm and cool he is. That's proper goal tending.

Me: So, what do you do for vacations?

Switzerland: I haven't really gone on vacation in a while because I bought a place.

Me: Oh, so you've been renovating?

Switzerland: Yeah, a little here, a little there. I ended up finding some roommates in order to help pay off the mortgage.

(OH MY GOD, WE ARE ALMOST HAVING A PROPER CONVERSATION)

Switzerland: I'm kind of regretting it now...but atleast I made sure to double insulate the walls. Last thing I want to hear is someone else fucking. I don't even like to hear myself fuck.

Me:...................


AND, I'm done. Get me the hell out of here. Also, someone warn Corey Schneider that he may have a stalker on his hands in the near future.


WOW. This is post is longer than I figured it would be. But I did promise a hilarious message sent to me.

A LESSON IN POETRY


This gem was not only sent to me. A friend who is also on the online dating offered to send me a message she received to add to the blog collection. When she sent it I realized it was VERY familiar. Word for word familiar. Since he shared this with both of us think it only fair to share his lovely poetry with the world.


my voice was sliced into a whisper the moment you came to me
in my bland pof blah-search... now Im left to deal with the burning flush of mad arousal, set high up to my cheeks all from your pix and your profile....it's overwhelming when primal urges take over amid the fuzz of uncertainties and non-committals that have yet to take shape and form because they have yet to come to bear...is it not?

do you enjoy being massaged cutie?
lol

I don't know what I like the most...the attempt at poetry or the closing line. Why would the enjoyment of being massaged be funny?

Was it something I said?

Hello guys and dolls, why yes, it has been a while. What can I say, it's hard to get a date amid 'relationship season'. But do not fear as Spring is slowly making it's way in...not only a time where the weather finally gets warmer, but a time when you start getting more active to shed off that extra winter weight (ladies, amirite?)and when single men come out of hibernation after the span of holiday months with pre-requisite gift giving and/or forced into proclaiming their fondness of whomever they are dating for however long with chocolates and flowers. I did however have a brief almost encounter that was a bit amusing so here we go.

HOUDINI

So I connected with Houdini online. His message was very witty and we had a good back and forth. He said he lost his early 20's to golf and could teach me how (I put learn to golf under my profile since I may one day actually need to know for work) After a few messages he asked to call me and we set a time. Our phone call went well and was fairly comfortable. He texted me a day or so after with how it was nice to talk to me the other night and that LaPierre scored a goal which made him think of me (Canucks Jersey in profile). At the time I was behind on my 'Nucks stuff but had heard a bunch of rumors before trading time and Houdini said Loungo was getting traded. Being the dum-dum that I am at times I didn't realize he was joking until about the 3rd text when he said he was pulling my leg. So at that point I figured he either thought I was gullible (which I can be at times) or that I was a fake Canuck fan....

On a Saturday I went to the driving range and I sent him a text for him to wish me luck. We ended up texting the rest of the weekend so I figured everything was good...but there was never a phone call or any talk of meeting up. Then he sent me a 'Happy Valentine's' text as well which I thought was sweet and I wished him one back. But I haven't heard from him since. A few days later I sent him a text asking how the rest of his week was and that still came up unanswered.

I also noticed the week after that his profile had disappeared.

So what do we learn from this? Don't return a Valentines sentiment to someone you aren't seeing yet? Nah, that can't be it. I think he was just too intimidated by my gullibleness...



(Yeah, I know, not so funny as the others....but I didn't have much to work with this time. I'm sure there will be more soon. That or I'll just give up and go buy some cats and blog about them)

The 45th day of the year

It seems to me that people either LOVE Valentines Day or DESPISE it. You can't say that people only hate it if they are single either as there are friends I have that don't like it and have a significant other to share it with. I'm pretty sure I know someone who absolutely loves it and is single. So what is it that gives the day for expressing love a bad reputation? When you're a child it's a wonderful day of chocolate and cartoon cards...how can it go wrong? Ill tell you where: the awkward teen years. You know, when you bought a rose a few days before and they would be given out during class. All the girls would be on the edge of their seats waiting to see if someone (that guy they've been crushing on forever)had finally gotten them a rose for the whole class to see. I would guess a lot of teen girls start turning a little sour to the idea when they would never receive one.

Me, I never received a rose in class, but that was probably because I was a bit of an awkward girl and my awesomeness didn't fully bloom until I left school. That being said, I've never really had a Valentine. No matter what I've always been single on Valentines day. Well except for one year....but it was a total downer.

So, here you go:

CREEPY McCREEPSTER - VALENTINES EDITION


So before Creepy became McCreepster I actually liked the guy and we dated on and off for...well....it depends who you ask. I was much younger at the time and having a boyfriend for Valentines was SO EXCITING for me. It would be the first time as my relationships would always end before it reared it's ugly little head (which is how you see it when you are a single girl in her late teen's/early 20's). I also never hid the fact that I was excited from Creepy at all. I made cutesy little comments and asked what he was going to get me in which he said nothing. As in he wasn't going to get me anything because he hated Valentines Day. Of course I was all like "But it's Valentines and we are together and I've never had a boyfriend for Valentines before and we are together and it's fricken Valentines".

So after I talked about it for about a week ( I could be exaggerating, it was a long time ago but I know I was SUPER excited about it so a week wouldn't be a long stretch)the day had arrived. We worked together (word of advice: don't date your manager it never ends well) and I don't exactly remember what I had gotten him but I know it was something special. I asked him what he had gotten me. He said 'Nothing'. I of course thought he was joking in which he told me again he got me NOTHING. (note to managers dating employee's: you should probably get them something on Valentines if you have to work with them all day). I had a couple friends come by and they asked what I had gotten...which was nothing. They promptly gave him the stink eye on the way out.

It took the little girl from a shop down the mall who came by to drop off Valentines cards to us to finally convince him that he needed to get me something. Nothing like a 6 year old girl to shame your boyfriend into getting you a.....card. It wasn't even a Valentines card. He also addressed it to the way the six year old pronounced my name because he thought it would be funny. Then after work he didn't even take me out for dinner. We went to his place and watched WWF wrestling in which he thought was my favorite because of the fact that I watched it with him. I'm pretty sure this spiraled into a fight and another one of our 'off' times as well.

Lesson to be learned: If you don't like Valentines and your significant other does...just amuse them and do 'something'. Even if it's something small it's better than nothing, as long as it's from the heart and not a guilt card.




So, after this one would think I am one of the HATERS...in which I have been in some years past, especially when you get dumped right before hand because then this day is like a big slap in the face after you've just started to pick yourself back up. I can't say I'm a LOVER of it either because I've never gotten to spend a proper one with a significant other. I'm indifferent this year. Except for the chocolate, I'm going to LOVE that when it's 1/2 off on the 15th!