2 posts in one night? Am I that lucky? Yes, I know that is what you are thinking. I've decided since my last post was not so funny that I would share with you some of my most favorite messages that have graced my dating inbox. Now I know how hard it is to find the right thing to say to get noticed and I don't want to discourage any of the guys...but. Well. Maybe for any guys reading, don't use these as good examples. Enjoy!
HELLO MY NAME IS PAUL I LOVED YOUR AD WOW NICE I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO GRANVILLE ISLAND
Hello my name is Paul I loved Your ad wow Nice.I would Love to go to granville island and buy ingredients 4 a meal or items for a picnic.we would either create an amazing meal together or enjoy each other's company on our picnic.if this doesnt interest you we could do the old standby and go 4 coffee or a meal.
This message was followed with wonderful pictures of wine, chocolates, a diamond ring and a picture of Italy
I DON'T REMEMBER THE MESSAGE TITLE, IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING AWESOME LIKE 'HEY'
Beauty comes in many shades and you with that stunning smile has my heart in a bun. How can somebody like yourself be so beautiful and alone? Let me take you to a place of life, a place of adventure, a place you deserve to be.
I actually did message this one back and we almost met for coffee.
HI I'M VERY SASSY
Hi I'm Tom.
I'm pretty sure his friends call him Chatty Cathy
TOP OF THE MUFFIN...TO YOU
Hi the top of the muffin is the best cause it's were the muffin breaks away from the pan and it's yummy. So we don't really need the stumps
Err....ok?
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
No means no, even in San Francisco
So it's been a while since I've last posted and it's partially because of procrastination but also partially because I wasn't sure if I wanted to post about my last brief encounter. Even though I came up with one of the best titles ever (WHOA COWBOY, NOW THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL SPEED DATING) I've decided not to include it here. Maybe it's because it also opens me up to judgement lol. What I will do is leave this quote as it was what I basically followed:
"It's impossible", said pride. "It's risky", said experience. "It's pointless", said reason. "Give it a try", whispered the heart.
Now onto the real reason you are here to read....
*edit* So reading this now that it's done, it isn't really funny. I guess take this one as more of a warning. Ladies, assholes are everywhere.
I SO HOT, I SO SEXY!
So I took a trip to San Francisco with my L.A. friend in October and being two single ladies we were bound to meet some men. One evening we went to a bar called Mojito's (which by the way, their mojito's sucked, it seemed to be Salsa night and there was a huge crowd for a Thursday night. My friend and I sat at the bar with our drinks and watched over the crowd while we unwound from a long day of touristing and waited for her friend to join us. The first guy to approach us was this young, afro'd, stinking of pot little boy. He tried real hard but I politely ended our conversation as his bad breath and tendency to spit when he talked was not much of a turn on for me. After the Spitter was gone the bartender bought us a drink(he thought I was cute ;) )The second guy who approached us was very nice. He was from Australia and had just got into San Fran that day. His friend had abandoned him (wanting to sleep) so we said he could hang out with us. After a while a guy with a motorcycle helmet and bag came up to the bar and sort of stood around. Our new Australian friend offered to put his bag under his barstool. Once Pablo Escobar got himself a beer and had a swig he grabbed my hand and pulled me on the dancefloor. I love to dance so I went along with it. We tried to have as much conversation as you can have on a loud crazy dancefloor. When we returned to the bar the Australian had disappeared and our other friend had arrived. It seemed to be a good night, Pablo wanted to take my friend and I for a motorcycle ride around San Francisco, over the Golden Gate bridge. Then we did what we shouldn't have done (hindsight's always 20/20)and given him my friends number to get a hold of us.
When the bar closed we should have all left it at that but we decided to go back to our friends house for a few more drinks and Pablo came along. This is where everything went downhill. Pablo had to work the next morning in which none of us knew until he disappeared out on the patio and called in sick. He then proceeded to get insanely drunk on vodka ( as there was no mix left) and sing "You so hot, you so sexy" over and over to me. He kept going on about the connection between us and that he would fly me out to San Francisco anytime I wanted and come visit me in Vancouver. I won't go into much more detail but he basically followed me everywhere around the tiny apartment trying to kiss me which involved him trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth. It had to be the worst kiss ever; It was worse then the first few kisses you ever have when you don't even know what your doing! He also wasn't getting the hint to stop which became less and less subtle with each advance.
He was about a fraction away from getting his huevo's jammed up into his liver when our guy friend said the party was done, time to go home. Pablo wanted to come stay at our place (I called in sick for you, to spend time with you) and when I said no he basically threw a tantrum stomping down the stairs, slamming the apartment door and heaving himself into a pile outside on the sidewalk. Inside he said he would call a cab but now he decided he would just sleep it off outside my friends apartment building. When our friend asked him if he would be ok Pablo replied "Yeah, sometimes guys make mistakes". This I couldn't take and walked up to him and asked him to repeat it, which he did. I then told him that "Well, sometimes girls make mistakes too. Don't bother calling, loose our number" and we left him mumbling on the sidewalk.
Pablo ended up calling about 5 or 6 times the two days after that. We never bothered picking up.
"It's impossible", said pride. "It's risky", said experience. "It's pointless", said reason. "Give it a try", whispered the heart.
Now onto the real reason you are here to read....
*edit* So reading this now that it's done, it isn't really funny. I guess take this one as more of a warning. Ladies, assholes are everywhere.
I SO HOT, I SO SEXY!
So I took a trip to San Francisco with my L.A. friend in October and being two single ladies we were bound to meet some men. One evening we went to a bar called Mojito's (which by the way, their mojito's sucked, it seemed to be Salsa night and there was a huge crowd for a Thursday night. My friend and I sat at the bar with our drinks and watched over the crowd while we unwound from a long day of touristing and waited for her friend to join us. The first guy to approach us was this young, afro'd, stinking of pot little boy. He tried real hard but I politely ended our conversation as his bad breath and tendency to spit when he talked was not much of a turn on for me. After the Spitter was gone the bartender bought us a drink(he thought I was cute ;) )The second guy who approached us was very nice. He was from Australia and had just got into San Fran that day. His friend had abandoned him (wanting to sleep) so we said he could hang out with us. After a while a guy with a motorcycle helmet and bag came up to the bar and sort of stood around. Our new Australian friend offered to put his bag under his barstool. Once Pablo Escobar got himself a beer and had a swig he grabbed my hand and pulled me on the dancefloor. I love to dance so I went along with it. We tried to have as much conversation as you can have on a loud crazy dancefloor. When we returned to the bar the Australian had disappeared and our other friend had arrived. It seemed to be a good night, Pablo wanted to take my friend and I for a motorcycle ride around San Francisco, over the Golden Gate bridge. Then we did what we shouldn't have done (hindsight's always 20/20)and given him my friends number to get a hold of us.
When the bar closed we should have all left it at that but we decided to go back to our friends house for a few more drinks and Pablo came along. This is where everything went downhill. Pablo had to work the next morning in which none of us knew until he disappeared out on the patio and called in sick. He then proceeded to get insanely drunk on vodka ( as there was no mix left) and sing "You so hot, you so sexy" over and over to me. He kept going on about the connection between us and that he would fly me out to San Francisco anytime I wanted and come visit me in Vancouver. I won't go into much more detail but he basically followed me everywhere around the tiny apartment trying to kiss me which involved him trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth. It had to be the worst kiss ever; It was worse then the first few kisses you ever have when you don't even know what your doing! He also wasn't getting the hint to stop which became less and less subtle with each advance.
He was about a fraction away from getting his huevo's jammed up into his liver when our guy friend said the party was done, time to go home. Pablo wanted to come stay at our place (I called in sick for you, to spend time with you) and when I said no he basically threw a tantrum stomping down the stairs, slamming the apartment door and heaving himself into a pile outside on the sidewalk. Inside he said he would call a cab but now he decided he would just sleep it off outside my friends apartment building. When our friend asked him if he would be ok Pablo replied "Yeah, sometimes guys make mistakes". This I couldn't take and walked up to him and asked him to repeat it, which he did. I then told him that "Well, sometimes girls make mistakes too. Don't bother calling, loose our number" and we left him mumbling on the sidewalk.
Pablo ended up calling about 5 or 6 times the two days after that. We never bothered picking up.
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